


This Weight on My Shoulders

by Thunderrrstruck



Series: Stark Expo '38 [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Domestic, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Mid-life Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thunderrrstruck/pseuds/Thunderrrstruck
Summary: Morgan's in her teens and Pepper's hair is greying. Tony squints at everything that isn't exactly eleven inches from his face. A ghost from his past haunts him under the light of a single lamp, a shadow with one question...
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Stark Expo '38 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1581913
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	This Weight on My Shoulders

Tony and Pepper are sitting on the bed, each minding their own business: Tony is distracting himself with more suit blueprints, Pepper is rereading her favourite book. Suddenly, Tony puts down the Stark tech tablet, unable to process engineering problems anymore. His eyes moisten a little as his mind flashes back to the cave. He hears those damning words, an ultimatum: _don't waste it, Stark, don't waste your life_.

He bites his lip. He thinks about turning to Pepper for comfort, but he can't imagine facing her right now. This is one of those moments everything he has ever done comes crashing down on his shoulders, and he can hardly breathe enough to say,

"Did I waste it, Pepper?"

She lifts her head. Her eyes are perfectly framed by reading glasses, her face ringed with silver. "What do you mean, Tony?" she asks. Her fingers are already fidgeting over the pages, slowly dog-earing her spot in favour of comforting her husband.

His voice is barely above a whisper. It's hoarse. It stutters like an old engine. "Did I– Did I waste my life?"

Pepper cups his chin with her free hand and gently directs his gaze to hers. The perfect mix of blue and green are her eyes; he marvels at them even now. "Tony?" she begins, "that is the stupidest thing I have heard you say, since I've ever known you."

He winces. She's coming at him like that?

But he doesn't need to dwell on it, for she continues.

"Never doubt your life again, do you hear me?" Pepper instructs. Her palm is flat against his neck now, her forehead closing in on his. "You have done so much for me, for our family, for the entire _world_. You did  _ not _ waste your life."

"But is it.. is it enough?"

"Look at me."

He doesn't want to right now.

"Tony." It's kind, but it's insistent.

Tony lifts his gaze to hers. He scans her eyes for any trace that she'll reject him in the end or say there is no redemption for him; he's done too much, he should just resign himself to his fate.

She's smiling. It's a wet smile. And a soft smile.

He smiles, too; the tears in his eyes slip over his lashes and trace rivers on his cheeks. Never has he loved someone as much as he loved her. His Pepper, his wife. He clutches her hand on his neck and shifts it to his lips. He bows his head before her and peers at her only through the tops of his eyes. “You are…” he chokes; as long as he thinks, he cannot come up with a word for what she is. Take amazing and beautiful, trustworthy and patient, genuine and gentle, and multiply it by a thousand. Even if it were multiplied by a  _ million _ , it wouldn’t do her justice.

He decides to play a little with the moment. Since he cannot describe his emotions in times of necessity, he has always had his own way of expressing himself. “Ms. Potts?” he tries.

“Yes, Mr. Stark?” she implores, buying into this little game of theirs with a diamond in her eye.

“I might not  _ ever _ deserve you…” He holds himself steady. The shadow of Yinsen creeps over his shoulder with the weight of family, legacy, heart, and courage, the objects of his trials and errors. “You, Morgan, I guess even Gerald,” he adds, because how can he forget their alpaca; “you are my everything. I'm lucky to love you.”

Her lips push up. Her cheeks follow. Her eyes are singing bright, merry tunes.

"I love you, Tony," she says. "And I am just as ridiculously lucky to have you, too."

The ghost of Ho Yinsen finally fades.

Out of nothing, Tony found something, and that alone is why he can feel secure in knowing, he didn’t waste his life.


End file.
